#DatingTanai Ep.3: Relationship Status: Circle Yes or No

Remember me saying I’m a girlfriend? I gathered you’ve read Epi-read 1 and Epi-read 2. Okay, you have? Great! Where were we? Oh, King Bae and my Facebook stalking. After he responded to my Facebook post in the RBL Singles FB group regarding dating single parents and all, I figured why not engage the brother with some follow-up interaction so I hit him with the “ uuummm interesting, what do you mean by…” reply. I went total damsel in distress/ help me understand, in the reply to his comment.

EUREKA! The brothers slid into the inbox to offer me some clarification to his response. Oh, so we’re just going to take this conversation out of the site of the public and converse in private. Oh, I see what you did there and I am here for it.

From that day, our interactions progressively increased. Days of casual messaging eventually turned into “I want to know you better “ phone calls. Those daily phone calls through the summer were greeted by daily video chats.

*Timeout* Remember, I was done with dating and had absolutely no expectation of whatever “this” is.

*Okay, time in* It was great to just have someone on my line of the opposite sex who fully understood single parenthood and life after divorce. It was just as exciting to have someone who wasn’t hitting me with a “send me a pic” message as if it was payment for his time.

I mean, after all, the man is stationed in North Carolina and I’m wwwaaayyy in Texas. Not much can become of that, right? Clearly, the man for me was within a 100-mile radius of Houston *sarcasm*

But wait, why am I getting giddy when I wake up to his “Good Morning Queen, have a productive day” messages. I use to despise those unsolicited “Good morning beautiful” inboxes from random men. However, these felt as if they were from a genuine place. Ok, I see you King Bae, making me smile in the A.M.

Summer had come to an end and Fall had made its way to greet us. It was in this season after weeks of daily video chats that I started to feel something. I tried my damndest to suppress that feeling because I know darn well I wasn’t falling in love with a stranger who I’d yet to physically meet and never touched.

I’m too hardcore to be so gullible to fall for a man on the screen of my Macbook pro. Oh hell no, sis. HA!

As a part of my personal growth, I have become in tune with my emotions and there was no doubt what that butterfly feeling was, even if I refused to fully acknowledge it. I definitely wasn’t going to tell him how I felt. I decided to keep that a secret because I didn’t need this man thinking I was “certifiable” crazy.


Then the cutest most respectable thing happened. He popped the question in circle yes or no meet me at the swings fashion. You know the one question I had never been asked before that we discussed in Part 1. Heck, I thought he was having an April’s fool’s moment because there is no way this man would want to take our friendship to the next level. Hence, my initial response!

20171006_151231I see God has jokes because I did pray for a man who would see and value my worth enough to solidify our relationship and have no issue with commitment.

We had yet to meet and *newsflash* I was still thousands of miles away from him. I called B.S. because that caught me totally off guard! Remeber Ep. 1 we discussed how getting someone to commit to me felt impossible.

He was hella serious and I had to oblige. This brother whom I met in these internet streets acknowledged my worth before the first meeting, date or kiss. That gesture alone spoke volumes to me. I’m sure some are saying “But Tanai how could you commit to a man you’ve never met in person.” Welp folks, I’ve come to the conclusion that life is all about calculated risk.

Yes, there is always the potential for heartache and failure but there is also the potential for a total win. However, I would never know unless I gave it one hundred percent and remained open, right? At a minimum, I can walk away with notes and a life lesson.

Heck, I took a risk with men I met face to face and gave my heart and that didn’t work so what did I have to lose.

Plus, he saw something in us that he wanted to explore further (grown man status) and I respected that. Not only was our interaction refreshing but it was fun!

Not once did I ever have to bring up the “where are we, what are we” discussion. He understood and acknowledged the importance of commitment to me and was intentional about what he wanted.

Goes to show that a man who wants you in his life will make the necessary concessions to ensure you understand your value to him. “Stranger” and all!

OMG, Tanai has a boyfriend! (Praise Break)


Stayed tuned for #DatingTanai Ep. 4: First meeting, double dates, flips, and vomit!


Tanai Benard

Email: Tanai (AT) 4DeepAroundTheWorld.com

Facebook: 4 Deep Around The World

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