#DatingTanai Ep.4: Dating a Single Dad: Double Dates, Flips & Vomit!

#DatingTanai is just like the NBC’s tv show “This Is Us”. You can’t watch episode four until you’re caught up on episode one through three. Otherwise, you will be totally lost and the storyline just won’t make sense. With that being said, catch up on #DatingTanai epi-read one through three

Epi-Read #1 Am I Worth Enough

Epi-Read #2  Real Black Love in the DM’s

Epi-Read #3 Relationship Status: Circle Yes or No

Now that you’ve binged read epi-reads one through three, shall we proceed?

One thing King Bae and I agree on is that there is no cookie cutter or conventional way to date, especially as a single parent. King Bae was out in this internet streets choosing, he slid in the DM and he picked me. Whoop Whoop! We now had a standing 9:30 pm nightly virtual date via video chat.

During the time we carved out for each other, we were set to talk about general boyfriend/girlfriend things, whatever that is. Every night we exchanged laughs, some nights we shared our thoughts on the TV series Black Love, discussed a chapter of the book we had chosen to read together and simply checked in with one another via Facebook messenger video chat feature.

It was all-great but eventually, we needed to take this thing off the internet and into reality. Because I needed to meet this stranger I had fell in love with and eventually gather enough courage to share my true feeling about him.

Being that we are both single parents and this was an unconventional long distance relationship (LDR), that meeting was greeted with more obstacles than a few. King Bae is an Active Duty Soldier stationed in North Carolina, with no family in the area and a very limited support system to help with his six-year-old twin girls. Since my support system here in Texas is great, I knew it was only right that I offered to fly to North Carolina for a first date and that’s exactly what I set out to do.

I know sis, you would NEVER fly to meet a man. I get it but remember I said there is no cookie-cutter way to date. What works for one may not work for another. This worked for us!

A weekend in November was set aside, the flight was purchased and King Bae was able to secure a babysitter for our meet up. The only thing to do now was to count down the weeks until I get to meet the stranger that I fell in love with. That was still my well-kept secret.

The week had finally arrived but there was one problem. The family that was supposed to keep his twin girls had an emergency and needed to leave town for the weekend. BUMMER! This was his one and only go to trusted sitters.

Being a single parent, I immediately understood and offered to reschedule my visit. Sure I was a tad disappointed but life happens and if no one gets that I do. He was adamant that we would figure it out even if it meant me meeting the girls. Oh, snap! Meet the kids on the first meeting. Sis, like the very very first, ever see you/ meet you in person meeting. Chile, meeting the children is a major step in my head. If he was comfortable with it and held me in a high enough respect to meet his children then why the heck not.

As if impressing a grown man wasn’t enough, now the pressure was on to impress two six-year-olds. *Face to palms*

It wasn’t exactly how this all played out in my head, but I had no problem rolling with it. On the bright side, I saw it as a two for one. Not only was I going to be given the opportunity to see his “boyfriending” skills in person but I was going to also be able to check out his parenting skills while getting the low down from two innocent six-year-olds who can’t be coaxed. Out of the mouths of babes comes the truth. HA!

I guess our first date would be a double date with two adorable twins.

Friday night they picked me up from the airport and boy these babies held back no punches from the first “hello”. It was almost 10pm and these adorable chatty Cathys gave me the 4-1-1 on all of daddy’s business. It was in that moment I knew that the duo and myself needed to be best friends the remainder of the weekend. “So you don’t say, hhmmm tell me more sweetheart”.  Just kidding, but for real!

Our Friday meeting was also the day that I revealed to him that I had fallen in love with him before our actual meeting. Instead of shunning my feelings, he confirmed that he felt the same way long before our meeting. AAWWW shiggidy! You don’t say! *BLUSH*

Our Saturday morning started with him whipping up homemade strawberry crepes for the four of us. The brother cooks! Let me take that back, the brother throws down in the kitchen. JACKPOT! To the man who told me that finding a good man would be almost impossible since cooking ain’t my forte, na-na na-na boo-boo! God knew exactly what I needed in a mate to balance my weaknesses.

All weekend I was catered to and well fed. Ladies, chivalry IS NOT dead. Pure facts! Despite his best efforts, it took me awhile and a few of his gentle reminders to adjust to the fact that I no longer had to open a door or carry my own luggage. When you’ve been rolling solo for so long some habits are hard to break. Best believe I got it down packed now. Super Woman cape is on the hanger and placed at the back of the closet while in his presence. *cue organ, hold my shoes, praise break*

After breakfast, he had to fulfill his parental obligations. Every Saturday morning the twins have gymnastics class. I refused to allow my presence to disrupt their normal schedule, so I agreed to tag along.

After gymnastics, we decided to take our double date to the movies. The seating arrangement at the movie was exactly what I figured it would be. Daddy, kid, me kid. *pouts*. I mean not totally ideal but hey! Eventually, the twins wanted to sit together and King Bae graciously offered up his seat, to sit next to me. Let the hand holding and head on the shoulder while watching a movie commence.

Before the movie was over, my six-year-old BFF / seat neighbor had a tummy ache and she found her way to resting her head on my lap as I made my best attempt to rub her tummy ache away.

After the movie, King Bae offered to take the girls and me to get manicures next door to the theatre but the tummy ache quickly trumped that offer. Baby girl wasn’t feeling it at all.

When we first met, I initially noticed that King Bae took interest in cooking. I told him very early on that if we were to ever meet (which I highly doubted would happen, HIGHLY) he would have to try his hand at one of my favorite dishes, lobster bisque. He said he’d never made it but would try if we were to ever meet.

After the movies, we made our way to the grocery store and I found myself staring in amazement at this man picking out lobster tails to make my fave. OMG, he remembered! The lobster bisque was delish might I add.

King Bae’s first attempt at Lobster Bisque

Then it happened! I fell in love with him on an entirely new level. On our way out of the market, I watched a six-year-old lose her battle to a tummy ache in a Food Lion parking lot. Watching him hold back her ponytail while rubbing her back, and gently talking her through it took it up a notch for me.

Ever watch a man stand in his child’s vomit wiping mucous, and vomit residue from her mouth with the shirt he is wearing? That is probably the most sexist thing I’ve ever seen. Talk about single mom turn on! Poor kid, but daddy looking real dreamy right about now. Puke on his shoes and shirt and all. Yummy!  (No Judgement Zone)

In that moment, I realized that he was the truth! I was able to see a side of him that no concert or candlelight dinner at a fancy restaurant could ever provide. Some may require a first date rolled out that would impress the masses while dressed to the nines and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, this was a genuine interaction that as a mother I could appreciate. King Bae allowed me into his world and life held back no punches that weekend.

Our first date wasn’t ideal for most by far but it was just right for us. Remember there is nothing cookie cutter about dating so do what brings both of you joy!

Stay Tuned For #DatingTanai Ep.5

Tanai Benard

Email: Tanai (AT) 4DeepAroundTheWorld.com

Facebook: 4 Deep Around The World


4 thoughts on “#DatingTanai Ep.4: Dating a Single Dad: Double Dates, Flips & Vomit!

  1. Lol wish that pic of the lobster bisque (also one of my favs) hadn’t fallen right next to the part about puking but i am loving every second of this saga!


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