#DatingTanai Ep. 5 Pt.1: Meeting Mommy’s Boyfriend

#DatingTanai is like your favorite sitcom that ends episode four with a cliffhanger that leaves you wanting more then BOOM a two-week hiatus. If you haven’t binge read the previous episode of #DatingTanai, I suggest you do so before moving on.

I could say that I was dating to ultimately find love, but that with only be a partial truth. I was dating to eventually establish a healthy and whole relationship with a mate that was significant enough for me to share with my children one day.

Like many single mothers, it was a high priority goal that my daughter gets a front-row view of how a man should treat and protect a woman and for my sons to experience a man properly caring for their mother.

Now with that being said, I wasn’t all willy nelly about bringing every Tom, Dick and Harry around the Cool Kids. In my 4 years as a divorcee, my children only had the opportunity to interact with ONE gentleman. Them meeting him was technically by default because we were friends before we gave it a go at exploring more. Other than him, I sheltered them from my dating life.

On many occasions, I did, however, discuss with them the what if’s in preparation.

What if mommy gets married, how would you feel?

What if mommy was to have another baby one day? 

(Ain’t happening but  that was once a far-fetched thought, ha!)

I periodically try to gauge where they stand while keeping the lines of communication open with them.

I always questioned when was the right time to expose them to my dating relationships. I now know that in the past, the right time never existed for such an encounter. Since there was no single soul ever willing to fully commit to a relationship with me, I had every right to protect them from what would have inevitably ended anyways.

However, this relationship with KB was far different from any of my past experiences. I’ve always been told that you’ll know when it’s right. I didn’t fully understand it until I stopped trying to force love and push the issue of commitment.

My relationship with King Bae brought value and positive energy from day one. For that reason, I no longer felt the need to protect my children from anything. Why would I protect them from a loving situation with a man that values me and acknowledges my worth?

After our first face to face meeting, he made it clear that we were a team from that point forward. He valued me enough to allow me to meet two of his recruits (children) on our newly formed championship team so it was only fair that I introduced my recruits.

We started the process off slow with casual video chats between the Cool Kids and King Bae. This gave them an opportunity to get to know each other on an informal platform before an awkward face to face meeting.

The Cool Kids and I decided that a road trip during Christmas break would be right up our alley because we had yet to do one since our return to America. Did you know Texas to North Carolina is a 16+ hr drive? Oh you didn’t, neither did I until I agreed to a road trip.

Mind you I had never driven more than four hours as a solo driver. Lawd, if this is evidence that I love that man, I don’t know what is. (King Bae if you are reading this, let the record show that I love you so much that I would drive 16 hours to be with you. *Don’t mind me, I’m  just trying to get pre-Valentines Day brownie points.)

Now, I could tell you the story behind the Cool Kids actually meeting King Bae at his home in North Carolina, but I have two young and ambitious writers who can probably tell the story a little better than I.

Click the link for Pt. 2 & Pt. 3 of #DatingTanai

Dezmond, 10 years old


Zavien, 11 years old


Tanai Benard

Email: Tanai (AT) 4DeepAroundTheWorld.com

Facebook: 4 Deep Around The World

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